Ledge Tuesday~Crap, Tis Conference Time!

I will not panic. I will not panic. Somebody stop me from repeating that I will not panic!

The New Jersey Romance Writers Conference is three days away. OK, I am freaking out. I am on the ledge and its friggin' raining. Go figure. I have so much to do and I'm here blogging about it.

Oh yeah and the tweener is home with a stomach bug. I hold up a crucifix as I shove a food tray in her door. STAY BACK!

I am an not an evil mother but I have priorities. Before you judge, spare me. She's twelve and can wipe her own ass. She's not some helpless toddler. Didn't you read I fed her. And in case you're wondering it was tea and crackers.

Back to my rant.

I feel like that idiot in the scary movie. The one you yell to, "Yo, biotch. Move. He's gonna kill you! He. Is. Gonna. Kill. You." Splat. I am toast. I am blogging not doing. Frozen like the poor little twit Michael Myers just hacked to bits.

I have to perfect my query and spit shine my first three chaps. The likelihood they will be asked for is small but I was told by an agent to be prepared. Have copies of my query, synopsis, and first couple of chaps ready just in case. I think I'll be getting some folders to put this stuff in. A STAPLES run is needed. That won't be easy. Puking kid, rain, and our second car is a hoopty. Drat.

Then there is the fashion dilemma. A fancy dinner is on Friday night. This chubby clown doesn't do dresses. Hate them unless forced to by friends I want to trip down the aisle. But my evening attire is looking weak. Most of my friends are married. Haven't been to an event in a while. I feel like I am getting ready for the prom. Hate this crap. I won't wear anything that shows off my flabby guns but I don't wanna wear a smock either. AND I have no time for alterations, as if I could just fork over the duckets needed to buy some fancied up satin rag. "Way to go Charli on the Procrastination bit", I say to myself. If I end up wearing an old Moo-Moo dress I will spit. I can't wear a nice suit because I will just look like AJ's date. But that would make for some funny chatter.

Last night I had a dream I couldn't find JAWS at the airport. I think I need to wear the clown nose when I do with a sign that reads, JAWS' RIDE.

So, I  need to get my tookus to Staples and the big girl's lookin' fine store, AKA, Lane Bryant. I have about thirty bucks left on a gift card. I guess that's a start.

Tweener is calling on the intercom. Lovely. Wish me luck.