Tuesday, July 20, 2010

TALES FROM THE LEDGE TUESDAYS~ The "B" List Blues

Well, it's that time of week again. Time to rant.
I could rant about hearing NOTHING on the 28 queries I have still out there with no response.

I could rant about how I am still not sure if my current WIP will be the first in my series.

I could rant about how much more time I have spent blogging, chatting on forums, and on FB than actually writing.

But, I won't.

What I will rant about is my VOICE. You hear it, loud, irreverent, in your face, the obnoxious chick from Philly. This is the VOICE you hear oh blogosphering buddies. But what VOICE I am talking about is the one I write my stories with.

Is it different? I hope so. My characters are nuts, loud, but they have their soft sides. I mean, I hope when my crit partners said I made them cry reading my first MS it was from the heart tugging emotion and not because I sucked.

I hope they didn't lie to me.

Legbreakers don't like liars.

Any who, I started wondering about my literary voice and wondered, what the hell is so literary about it? What is LITERARY anyways? (A few peeps told me I was on the border of literary. Twas confusing.)

Literary is like that club  hipsters and edgy people belonged to in highschool. Like Winona Ryder types. All quirky, cool, and too smart for the world. I was more of the cutting class where is the next party type. I did ok in school but I was that kid the teachers always said had "potential". Yup, that was me, the eternal slacker, McFly, but with friends.

In College I had a T-shirt that said, "Transcend Mediocrity". I thought, sounds smart. Sounds like something Winona would wear. The irony that  a McFly sported it I thought downright funny. Years later, as a teacher, the same phrase ran across my bulletin board. Made some kids think. The slackers never bothered and everything came full circle.

Any who, I have a FB buddy, BB you know who you are, who has a blog. Her voice, well, I told her it left me breathless.  She uses big $2 words.

Then I think, damn, I shouldn't have cut English class to make out with my boyfriend. I should've been the smart girl who got smarter. Not the smart girl with potential. But if I did all those things I would sound different, right? Is that good or bad?????(Mental note, find a word of the day program. I need to feed my brain.)

Jaws reads the newspaper every morning. An old collegaue of mine reads the New York Times everyday! I used to read and watch news, once upon a time while working in local politics. I got jaded, cynical, and I didn't like it the BLAHS it gave me.

Now news to me is TMZ. Linsday Lohan is a matter of national crisis people, and don't get me started on the state of Mel Gibson. The UN should be notified and hold all kinds of meetings of these two.

I don't like feeling like the "B" student. Not B as in grades but B as in B-list. And I don't want to be a "B" list author either. I don't want an agent who has sold things I wouldn't read. I don't want to be the fine Gouda of a cheesy publishing house, or even its Velveeta.

So where am I with this rant? Not sure. All in know is that I've been told my writing VOICE is distinct I have made people laugh and cry. So I should be happy right? I am at times. But then these ledge moments pop up and I'm not so sure. What if my voice isn't DISTINCT enough?

I'm on two forums where peeps are looking at my query, synopsis, and first five pages of my MS. They too are aspiring writers. Some of the feedback is conflicting, confusing, and has me scratching my head on what to do with all of this.

And now I am talking to myself, asking my "writing" voice in my "Philly" voice, "Yo, bitch. WTF? No agent yet? Dig deep, find your balls and get'er done already."

41 queries, 11 rejections, 2 partials, and still going...



18 comments:

  1. Ok, tally change. 41 QUERIES, 12 REJECTIONS, 1 PARTIAL. MY PARTIAL WAS REJECTED. MY CHARACTERS LACKED DEPTH.

    WHAT A DAY TO GET THIS...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol, Charli! I'm so sorry to hear about your rejection and dejection today. But I guess that's what Ledge Tuesdays are for, huh? I'm right there with ya, sister. I got some feedback on that "blogfest of death" post that makes me worried that my darker stuff is going to be too dark for the mainstream to handle. It worries people who know me in real life. Oh well. Maybe if I jump I won't have to worry about it anymore, huh?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey, at least you HAVE the balls to get your work out there. I live in this la-la land where I write and finish something and then never, ever, for any reason edit it. 'Cause I'm a chicken shit. So kudos for that anyway, Charli.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The part that sucks is that I thought my first three chaps were solid. I thought they were/are really strong. When someone says your characters lack depth, its so personal. Extremely frustrating. I am not even sure if my rejection is personal or form its so damn vague.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Chin up!!!! Tomorrow is another day. And---Don't you dare start doubting yourself. That felt good to give the order this time. LOL And yes, I've been a busy little beaver with my story today too...

    ReplyDelete
  6. I got my contest feedback for The Convict & the Cattleman back the other day. Some of it was really good and helpful. The judges scored 1-9, one being poorest and nine highest, obviously. One of the judges put nines down all the way and wrote something along the lines of 'perfect, wouldn't change a thing.' I was a little insulted. I wondered if she'd even bothered with reading it and I seriously hope she didn't do that to everyone. Vague is bad, especially when you've devoted so much time to your MS.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Trying not to jump but like I said, I am questioning my voice, what works, am I even in the right market? I mean it's all YA and Paranormal selling. So, is it just not a good time for a straight up love story....

    Hey, Maybe my hero should be Wolf? Maybe I should write the YA story about my main characters in High School. I mean even Carrie Bradshaw went YA.

    I need a drink.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Charli's work has come a long, and I mean A LONG way, much as anyone else who writes. I know, I've been with her from almost the beginning. Her story is poignant, will make you mad, and laugh - her characters have more depth than I've seen in many of the pieces I've read. I'm bias, no doubt, but even before BGA became what it is, I SAW the potential in her voice.

    A.R. C&C is great from what I've read, pat yourself on the back lassie, and BLOODY well start querying! 'Tis an order!

    Step back from the ledge, lassie, I need it tonight. I must plan for Thursday's, DINNER WITH JAWS!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Aw, man, C, that bloody reeks.
    Crap, I'm sorry about the lastest pass. Like A.R, I haven't started the query crap yet--will be soon, hopefully. I'm trying to make sure my MS is as polished as I can get it. Or maybe I'm just so damn scared to here stuff like my characters don't have enough depth, that I'm stalling.
    Anyway, C, chin up and all that stuff. Oh, and get off the ledge, I need it for awhile. I need to screw up some courage to start the next leg of this writing journey. Querying.
    At least you have the guts--balls--to have your MS out there. I'm nothing but a spineless, yellow-bellied, chicken!
    Brenda

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm taking a step off the ledge, and taking ye with me lassie! I just had an AH HA moment! :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. oh thanks the gods I have found this blog. I was beginning to feel like I was lost at sea. It's so hard trying to explain to hubby why I feel the way I do about my writing. Most of the time he just looks at me like I'm nuts. I am slightly mad, but not totally off my rocker. Sorry to hear about the rejection. It sucks when people take your heart and soul and squish it like it was nothing. Although you have a lot more moxie then I do. I'm writing my second book and I'm so nervous about getting the big fat NO that I'm sure I'm even going to bother.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love word Moxie. You made my day using it. NEVER EVER SAY YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BOTHER with a story you have soaked your blood sweat and tears into. Have you joined a critique group? Share your concerns with other aspiring writers before you submit. Chin up lassie.

    We're glad you found us Kris!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hey Kris, be sure to check out our Pimpin Ain't Easy page. Lots of sites to assist you in your writing. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think I waver from putting myself out there to being a closet writer because I haven't been doing it for very long., and I kinda feel like I'm still pretty green. I have, however, put my first story on my blog for all to read. It's just for fun, and to get an idea of what type of audience I'm writing for. I do have a couple of critique partners, and they are very helpful and keep me on my toes. I will most certainly be checking out the pimpin' section. Any help I can find is great. Thanks for being so welcoming, it's nice to know that there are real people writing, and not scholarly types with a million and one degrees to their names.
    my site is http://www.thwitchingchronicles.com
    I've put your site on my blogroll-hope that's ok

    ReplyDelete
  15. BLOG ROLL! Woot woot! It takes a while. It took me ten years to finally write. For the past year I have been going at my novel like a mad man. Learning, growing as I go along. If you were to read what my first chap looked like to what I have now, worlds different. Tommorow AJ is doing a live crit session. Tune in. I am checking out your blog....

    ReplyDelete
  16. I think I may be joining ye here next week lassie . . .

    ReplyDelete