DINNER WITH CHARLI TUNA

Tis a different kind of Thursday. No JAWS, breathe easy lassies. Tis Charli Tuna, a calmer fish from the Atlantic. And what I am serving up you'll just love. You will salivate at the delectable dish I have for you all.

I am serving JAWS herself.

That's right lassies. You get to JAWS, JAWS.

How many of you are ready to rip her a new one? Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Looks like tonight, the main course is SUSHI lassies.

KEY TO THE KINGDOM

Prologue
The Border, England 1455

“One crown to rule them all.” William moved his pawn forward two spaces and glanced up at the duke.

“Tis a powerful notion.” Hugh replied, a hand lingering over his knight “Especially where a throne is used as a tool of persuasion. What of Richard?”

“His bouts of madness are the same as Henry’s. He will not long be king.” William eyed the duke’s queen. “I have the blood of all the royal houses, Scotland included, pulsing through my veins.”

“Where are you going with this, William?” Hugh lifted a hand in the air as a servant stood poised to enter the room. With a flick of his wrist, the man retreated, closing the door in his wake.

“Richard was on campaign in Pontoise, several days from Rouen, where his lovely wife Cecily had taken up residence. ‘Tis where young Edward was conceived.”

Save for the crackle of tinder and pop of realization silence settled between the men.

Hugh sat back, dropped his bishop and opened his mouth. No sound flowed forth. “You were …” he shook his head and glanced away. “You were in Rouen with Cecily,” the duke whispered, eyes rent with dawning.

William said nothing.

His head snapped back. “The archer, Blaybourne … Cecily’s lover, was he not?”

“Edward’s father? A figment of my imagination.” Running fingers through raven haired whiskers, he eyed his next move. Pawn takes rook. Line up your pieces, stalk your enemy, it will all fall into place.

“One crown?”

“To rule them all.” With his daughter as bait, he’d have it all. “Checkmate.”

Chapter 1

The knife slid through Helena's fingers as she stumbled back against the window. A breeze fluttered past her face, forcing air into her lungs. Blood tainted hands covered quivering lips.

Claire’s soft swords reached her ears.

“Run,” she wheezed, eyes all but swollen shut. “Go, milady, before he kills you too. My fate is sealed.” Acceptance and determination blazed in her azure gaze. “Please.”

“I will not leave you here.” Helena returned, shaking away fright.

A harsh cough shook Claire’s body. “Flee. Do … not look … back.”

“I will see you away from this place.” Helena tried desperately to lift the maid.

Life faded from Claire’s eyes. “There…. isn’t time. He will … return.”

Heart thrumming wildly in her chest, her gaze darted to the open door and skittered over the motionless bodies, chests still, never to rise with breath. Claire’s lips parted and one word slipped past pale lips. “Isolde –”

The heavy thud of footfalls reached her ears. She started, turned and leaned out the window. The fall was great. More than a yard or two. Her options were limited.

She had to run.

Run for her life.

To save her sister from the same fate as she.

With unsteady hands, Helena yanked the hem of her gown over her knees and climbed onto the ledge. Cold air whipped against her face as she stared at the stone path below. Jump, Helena, flee! She inhaled the frigid spring wind as the footsteps drew closer.

She leapt.

Well, tis appetizing. I was hungry. Doonae worry, I left some for ye. Read below how I tweaked this fine tale into shape.

Prologue~The Border, England 1455

“One crown to rule them all.” William moved his pawn forward two spaces and glanced up at the duke.

“Tis a powerful notion. Especially where with a the throne is used as a tool of persuasion.” Hugh replied, a hand lingering over his knight “What of King Richard?” (I am thinking here you should mention he is the King, for those not as versed in History. I also switched the action tag. Felt the pause more natural this way. I know WHERE may be the language of the period but it reads more awkward so I switched things up a bit here too.)

“His bouts of madness are the same as Henry’s. He will not long be king.” William eyed the duke’s queen. “I have t The blood of all the royal houses pulse ing through my veins, Scotland included.”

“Where are you going with this Does this diatribe have an end in sight, William?” Hugh lifted a hand in the air as a servant stood poised to enter the room. With a flick of his wrist, the man retreated. , closing the door in his wake. (The opening sentence sounded to contemporary for me. The phrase where the servant closes the door slowed the action.)

“Richard was on campaign in Pontoise, several days from Rouen, where his lovely wife Cecily had taken up residence. ‘Tis where young Edward was conceived.” (Now, I had the fortunate pleasure of going through the family timeline previous to this, but re-reading again let AJ know if all this makes sense to you.)

Save for the crackle of tinder and pop of realization silence settled between the men.

Hugh sat back, dropped his bishop and opened his mouth. No sound flowed forth. “You were …” he shook his head and glanced away. “You were in Rouen with Cecily,” the duke whispered, eyes rent with dawning.

William said nothing.

His head snapped back. “The archer, Blaybourne … Cecily’s lover, was he not you said he was-”

“Edward’s father? A figment of my imagination.” Running fingers through raven haired whiskers, he eyed his next move. Pawn takes rook. Line up your pieces, stalk your enemy, it will all falls into place.

“One crown?”

“To rule them all.” With his daughter as bait, he’d have it all. “Checkmate.”

Chapter 1

The knife slid through Helena's fingers as she stumbled back against the window. A breeze fluttered past her face, forcing air into her lungs. Blood tainted hands covered quivering lips.

Her servant Claire’s soft swords reached her ears. (I need to know who this person is and its obvious she is somewhere else in the room, tell us where.)

“Run,” she wheezed, eyes all but swollen shut. “Go, milady, before he kills you too. My fate is sealed.” Acceptance and determination blazed in her azure gaze. “Please.”

“I will not leave you here.” Helena returned, shaking away fright a deep breath quelled her fright. (Shaking away her fright, all I see is her convulsing or dancing, LOL, and its all tell.)

A harsh cough shook Claire’s body. “Flee. Do … not look … back.”

“I will see you away from this place.” Helena tried desperately in vain to lift the maid.

Life faded from Claire’s eyes. “There…. isn’t time. He will … return.”

Claire’s lips parted and one word slipped past pale lips. “Isolde –” (I moved this here because below you say they are dead, to me it felt more natural to hear this, then look around.)

My sister? (Can’t just name drop with all this going on.)

Heart thrumming wildly in her chest, her gaze darted to the open door and skittered over the motionless bodies, chests still, never to rise with breath.

The heavy thud of footfalls reached her ears. She started, turned and leaned out the window. The fall was great. More than a yard or two. Her options were limited.

She had to run.

Run for her life.

To save her sister from the same fate as she.

With unsteady hands, Helena yanked the hem of her gown over her knees and climbed onto the ledge. Cold air whipped against her face as she stared at the stone path below. Jump, Helena, flee! She inhaled the frigid spring wind as the footsteps drew closer. (Mentioning the season take me totally out of the action. And I don;t think she'd refer to herself in the third person. )

She leapt.