I Want This Rejection!

My buddy Camille over at Camille Reads had this on her blog. This is an old school rejection form for screenplays but I want one for novels! I want there to be a standard like this for literary agents. I mean I think it's perfect. We get forms all the time and at least this is more specific.

Besides, it feels like the junior high notes you used to pass. Do you like me? Circle yes/no/maybe. But this gives you at least they why it's a no. Kind of cool. Old School needs to be the New School in this instance. Ya feel me?

So far I am digging number 17 on this list. Scenes of an unpleasant nature, LMAO.

Partially Rejected~Tales from the Ledge

Well, I wasn't expecting to be back here so soon. Another rainy Tuesday in the City of Brotherly love. Yes, another one. I am beginning to wonder if my episodes on the ledge have some kind of cosmic connection to the weather.

Any who. I got a partial request some months back, as some of you may recall. Then those dang contest results came in, some rejections, and a critique. I withdrew my submission and I re-worked my MS. The agent was extremely gracious and kind. I re-submitted believing my MS the best it could be.

Time had since passed and no word from the very lovely agent. I worked even further on my story. Went to the NJRW conference, got business cards, worked on pitches, you know the deal.

In the back of my mind this partial nagged at me. My bat-senses told me she was prolly going to pass. The submission I gave in was already outdated. I'd changed the opening again. Nothing major but enough, IMO. I have submissions from the Conference I am waiting on, so I am hopeful.

This past weekend my laptop went on the fritz. I was forced to live without it literally attached to my lap. The hubby said it was nice to have me back in the real world. And it was. Sunday comes and we dive into our ritual- Boardwalk Empire and Dexter.

Homicidal Bliss I tell ya!

My phone beeps. DOH! I get email on there. Instinct has me checking it. My breath holds. It's the email from her, the partial.

I look up at the TV. Things aren't boding well for Steve Buscemi on the Atlantic City Boardwalk. Somebody tried to whack him! Ugh. Not good.

An ironic sense of foreboding anyone?

Email open. No turning back now.  

And its the I regret I have to pass email. But it's the why that has me reserving a spot on the ledge right then and there. Dang, I should have waited until Dexter was on to open this! At least there'd be some sense of redemption or hope! (Yes, Dexter gives hope. Homicidal but hope nonetheless.)

She said it was really an enjoyable read but not a fresh enough premise. That's partially good right? Enjoyable but unsellable?????

But wait, all the other guys have said the opposite. The premise really intrigued while my execution lacked. I'll give them an execution...breathe, Charli. Sorry. Back to my rant.

Yeah, yeah, the business is subjective-yada- but I am really at a loss. I want to make my story marketable. I do. But what is marketable?

I commiserate with JAWS and we check out the NYT Bestsellers lists. Lots of action packed thrillers on there. I noted a Nora Roberts, a Nicky Sparks, historical fiction and some literary.

Yeah, I guess a family saga about love and loss on the Jersey Shore isn't so marketable. If you look at the NYT list.

But in my head, of course, I think my premise is fresh. The Jersey Shore is a hot location right now. It's a culturally diverse cast of characters. Yeah, it's about childhood sweethearts finding each other. Not new at all. But my main characters find each other as both their marriages have ended and she is preggers. There's lots of family drama in the mix. In my head I haven't seen anything like this recently. Hmmm, but, we are talking about being in my head. Not exactly a standard of normalcy.

I stew over where my MS keeps ending up. Above, in cyber trash. And in my head all I hear is Oscar the Grouch laughing at me, and sing songing how tasty my heap of garbage is. "Oh I love your trash!" Stupid PBS. Whatever.

I'm going to keep believing in my story and even think about that second WIP. Either way, I am stuck with these characters. The next MS is the second book in the series.

I wait to hear back from the other submissions I have out there. I am not going to jump the gun and tweak my story yet again. Not until I get more feedback anyway. Besides, I got JAWS to deal with.

I Liz-Lemoned my Agent Interview

I totally Liz Lemoned my agent interview at the New Jersey Romance Writer's Conference. Totally. If you do not know whom or what I am referring to, be gone. And come back when you are a part of decent society. Nah, just click on the links to get better acquainted with these fine gems of pop culture.

Back to me, Charli, aka Liz Lemon.

Me of all people totally botched it. Charli...the social go getter. Charli...the political schmoozer. I'm the girl who WROTE THE PITCH posts and I totally Lemoned the entire thing. But, in 30 Rock fashion, no....Liz Lemon fashion, I triumphed. The journey was quite comical. Please, follow along.

This agent totally Donaghyed me. So cool, calm, and collected. So in tune with the business. I sat in awe of him. Looking back I think I sounded more like Tracy Jordan at first, but I digress.

I prepped the whole night before. Jaws and I even got index cards. Woot. I had my business cards ready, all my pitches memorized, I was totally ready. TOTALLY. These other nerds have no idea how prepped I am.

So, here I am in the waiting room, waiting for my first appointment. The one with Donaghy, the great agent with great personality and a very nice smile. I am Charli. Chatter and schmoozer extraordinaire. I am soo ready. They had Kenny in the waiting room, handing out Mentos and calming nerves. So nice. Very thoughtful, really.

Glancing around there were Tracy and Jenna types, you know, other authors clamoring and freaking out a bit. So glad that wasn't me. I was so cool sitting there. Liz Lemonesque, for sure. Unaware of the impending doom ahead. Anywho. I watch and am so happy JAWS and I stayed up until 3AM prepping. This appointment is already in the bag. Take that nerds!

I walk in and there is Donaghy. Hello, will the real Liz Lemon please stand up? My mouth suddenly feels like I ate a case of cheesy blasters. Where the hell did my cool go? Tracy and Jenna took it. Damn them!  I was ready. I was prepared. What the frig happened?

Donaghy smiles and is so nice. I introduce myself. Donaghy remembers me from commenting on his blog. I am not a stalker. I am not a stalker. I say over and over to myself. We exchange cordial banter then he asks me.....he asks me about my friggin' book. What book. I wrote a book? I gulp. Of course I did. My hands shake twiddling with my index cards.

Donaghy reaches across and taps my hands. I look up and I am suddenly calm. Donaghy is like Jesus himself. I hear the "Ahh" behind him. I see the light. I can breathe. I finally hand over my business card. He likes, really likes it. I give him a copy of my query and synop, again he is impressed.

Then, his eyebrows go up, waiting for me to continue. Damn. Now I have to talk about the book. I fidget with the index cards. My hands are tapped again. Donaghy tells me they are not needed and to relax. I do.

Point blank, he asks what my book is about. And it just flows like butter, cheesy blasting butter. I am totally rockin it. In the zone man. Woot woot. Bottom line. I nail a partial. A friggin' partial. JAWS nails a full with Jack later. Biotch was totally spying on my skills.

You are asking...What is the lesson within all this Lemon? Here it is.

Agents are really like us, people. How you'd explain what your story is about to your friends or a new crit partner is how you should approach pitch appointments. I pray this totally rockin agent likes what I am about to submit. Cause, she, ah-hem, he- was really nice, gentle, and supportive.

This first meeting is what led to TWO editors requesting a submission. I was totally prepared for them. Thanks Jack Donaghy, you're the best!

I WANT TO BE A TERRIBLE WRITER, SERIOUSLY.

I jumped on the query super highway. I went blazing, speeding, and didn't wear a seat belt. Not only was I not securely fastened but I didn't check the engine. To summarize, I wasn't prepared.

My MS wasn't ready.

Form rejections, mixed contest results, unbiased CP feedback, I took in all in.

The opening to my novel, By Grace Alone, has been re-written. I am  knee deep in re-writes to reflect the changes. I'm having a blast.

To be honest, I haven't felt this good since I finished my first draft.

Recently, I've been meeting with local writers.  Cyber connecting is great. You're here reading this. However, something can be said about getting out their physically to meet your peers.

In a discussion group today a chat started about the Query process. Well, my hand goes up like Horshack, waving and oooh oooh ooohing.

A few comments later, I gulp.

The number of fellow writers who vented frustrations about LITERARY INTERNS made me nervous. Apparently they are more common than we think.

Our QUERIES most likely are read by INTERNS before ever getting to the AGENT.

Now, I am not sure how that makes me feel.

I am NO Agent or an Intern. I will not presume to understand how many queries they see and how many are just plain awful.

But we work really hard and we now depend on interns?

Some may not even have enough life experience to connect with our work. Their taste decides whether we get into the VIP club- the Agent's desk.

All our hard work in the hands of someone we DIDN'T query.

Interesting.

On TWITTER one of these interns complained about PROLOGUES and how they are unnecessary.

The debate on them is vast and oh so deep. Been there, argued that.

My MS has a one page prologue.

Before you chime in, here are some NYT Bestsellers with Prologues: The entire TWILIGHT series, THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY, ANGELS & DEMONS, THE DA VINCI CODE (The Bestselling book of all Time),  A BEND IN THE ROAD (Most Nicholas Sparks novels), James Patterson's THE SWIMSUIT (been on the NYT BS list for a couple of years).

I start a chat with this intern. A polite one, seriously. I ask why do WE aspiring writers hear how much agents hate PROLOGUES and yet I keep reading them. Reading them in works that are very successful. Said intern asks what books have them and I list the above. Her response, all good stories but TERRIBLE WRITING.

Wow.

They are all in my library. They were great reads. Love them. Won't let people borrow them. The TWILIGHT series is my kids. Haven't read but seen the movies. I know, I know. I'll read them sometime. But back to my rant.

Terrible writing? TERRIBLE WRITING?????????? I keep going back to this. How terrible can they be if millions of people have read them, loved them, and HOLLYWOOD even made them into movies?

Now, they're not Literary snooze fests or Pulitzer Prize winners. I know that. But I am a commercial fiction reader. Very proud of that.

Who is this INTERN to say what makes TERRIBLE WRITING? I mean to say that actual successful authors are TERRIBLE? I wonder if she's passed on any GOOD STORIES for the agent she works/interns for. I mean, she could have just said that they weren't her style or what she looks for.

Why do I feel like Doogie Howsers are looking at my work? I mean look at Neil Patrick Harris. Look at what life experience did for him. I want the NOW Doogie reading my query, or the AGENT I should say.

But to say these FELLOW scribes are terrible, especially looking at their success...Then I hope I am TERRIBLE too. Just as terrible a they are.

I wonder how many interns passed or will pass on mine?

This business is SOOOO SUBJECTIVE.

The scary thing is, AGENTS need interns. The business is that insane. Agents would NEVER get to ANY queries without them. It still makes me uneasy. The economy sent many editors packing. Publishing houses no longer help groom their writers, they want you ready to go.

So, I shake my head and pray somewhere AN ACTUAL AGENT reads my work and is drawn to it. That a publisher believes in it. And that readers will LOVE it.

BTW, this intern later was on a social media outlet chatting about the queries she was simultaneously reading, liking, passing on, yada. All while continuing to chat on said social media outlet. Chat about queries, shots and drinking games. Yup. How much concentration is going on there? I guess there is so much terrible out there she is forced to drink and read queries.

I shake my head and refuse to let the idea of these interns solely holding the future of my writing career in their hands.

Like I said. I am feeling pretty damn good. Not gonna let this ruin my mood. Plus, DEXTER IS ON!

Need my homicidal fix... BTW that's not an intern in my sofa. Pinky promise. LOL.

Fictional Agent Friday~ DR. EVIL

Back by popular demand...

It's Fictional Agent Friday. I get to transform a popular character and say why I think he or she would be the PERFECT LITERARY AGENT.

DR. EVIL.

Why did I not think of him sooner. Erm, hullo? Laser beams? Sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads. An army of minions, a psychotic clone, not CLOWN, clone. He has an arsenal of cool ridiculous toys, an under water labyrinth beneath a volcano, he has a submarine in the shape of his likeness where stuff floats out of his butt, he has EJECTOR chairs, and an assistant called NUMBER 2.

He needs to be my agent. I can see him now demanding ONE TRILLION DOLLARS for my MS. If not, he'll blow up the entire world! Everyone would be forced to read my work.

YES!

He could clone me so that Minnie Charli could do all the typing, blogging, yada. I could sit back and live the high life of a glorified author, like in a Jackie Collins novel.

We'd torture other agents for fun! Yes, this is my best fictional agent FRIDAY yet!

I've had the chance to interview Dr. Evil in his lair. I was a little nervous but he really is a teddy bear once you get to know him. Enjoy.

Charli: Good afternoon Dr. Evil

Dr. Evil: I don't know what's so frickin' good about it. I haven't killed anyone all morning. *He raises his pinkie to his lip*

Charli: Tell us about yourself.

Dr. Evil: "The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really." (as depicted in Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery)

Charli: Oh, that sounds lovely. How do you see your life experiences shaping you as a literary agent?

Dr Evil: I don't. But I'm tired of reading frickin' crap, you know. Ever since Meyer stopped writing about Glittery vamps and werewolves there's nothing out there really.

Charli: Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Dr. Evil: Team Jacob. *Dr Evil and Charli fist tap*

Charli: Well, I write about love along the Jersey Shore.

Dr. Evil: I must kill you now. Lower the seat. *He calls out to Number 2*

Charli: WAIT! What did I say? *Charli grasps the arms of her chair. A shark with a laser beam appears. JAWS YOU FRICKIN' TRAITOR!*

Dr. Evil: Jersey Shore, really. They're all frickin' idiots.

Charli: Oh, no. Not that Jersey Shore. No Situations or Snookies in my book. It's just a love story.

Dr. Evil: No, fist pumps or beats the beats?

Charli: NO!

Dr Evil: No shirt before the shirts?

Charli: No way.

Dr. Evil: You may live. Now, believe it or not I adore a good LOVE STORY. I cried watching The Notebook.

Charli: Well, imagine all the love of that story with a little bit of family dysfunction thrown in there.

Dr. Evil: Oh, you mean like the Palins?

Charli: Sort of.

Dr. Evil: Oh, goody! I will call all the publishers and hold them ransom until the entire world has read your book.

Charli: YES!

Dr. Evil: One condition, if you novel is made into a movie, I get to play the hero. I'd make a good love interest, no?

Charli: Well, I guess you could pass for a Cuban contractor.

Dr. Evil: Wonderful. We'll do lunch.

Charli: How can other authors query you?

Dr. Evil: They can send me this thing called an email. Weird really. If I like it I will send my submarine to fetch them, if not I will blow them up. *Dr. Evil laughs, waits for all too join in*

Charli: Thanks, Dr. Evil.

WELL that's it for FICTIONAL AGENT FRIDAY.

Tune in next week. Who would you like to see, MADEA or PUNKY BREWSTER?

QUERY ME THIS...

There are times I walk around in unadulterated denial. The world around me has gone mad, for I am surely NOT the crazy one. Ha! How could I be the crazy one? 

I am not walking around in my underwear setting the world on fire! I have thought about it though....

This world, the publishing world, IS NUCKIN' FUTS! I am, like I said, completely sane.

I am not typing with my toes or my nose, held tight in the restraints of a straight-jacket. I did not just have a conversation with my dead grandfather, who looks fantastic by the way. I am a normal writer. A writer who is searching for the truth and while on that journey came across some interesting information.

Information that we are not supposed to know. If THEY knew we knew well then who knows what would happen.

The DICtionary holds information people forget is there. Shh. I will let you in on a secret, but promise not to tell anyone...

que·ry /ˈkwɪəri/ –noun
1. a question; an inquiry. We pose the question, am I publishing material? Do I have what it takes to be a PUBLISHED AUTHOR and for YOU TO REPRESENT ME...

2. mental reservation; doubt. You read correctly. The plot thickens. By definition the QUERY is already set up in their favor. Oh, yeah. By definition when they open up our INQUIRY they already have their finger on the delete button.

3. Printing . a question mark (?), esp. as added on a manuscript, proof sheet, or the like, indicating doubt as to some point in the text.  RE-HEEL-HEELY, Ace Ventura once said. Even the question mark has a subtle innuendo that failure is inevitable. OH THE HORROR. THE TRUTH! WHY OH WHY MERRIAM WEBSTER DO YOU TAUNT ME SO!!!!

4. an inquiry from a writer to an editor of a magazine, newspaper, etc., regarding the acceptability of or interest in an idea for an article, news story, or the like: usually presented in the form of a letter that outlines or describes the projected piece.  WHY IS OUR DEFINITION LAST? WHY OH WHY I ASK AND NO ONE ANSWERS.

You want to be a published author, you want YOUR stories to be shared with the world. You feel that your characters will somehow make this world a better place to live in. That your world is a great escape from ours.

You work, learn the craft, build, create, sweat, bleed, laugh, cry, and all for the one inevitable truth.

YOU WILL FAIL.

That's right. You WILL fail.

But it's not about how many times you get knocked down, it's about how many times YOU GET BACK UP. A famous Philly character said that, if you can guess who, you get a prize.

The query is a shameless whore. There, I said it again. She is. And it's all about packaging and propositioning. The wrong approach will have disastrous results.

I am taking a QUERY WORKSHOP now, a month long, with a published author. It's crazy, confusing and has me trying to shape and mold my story into neat little boxes, catchy boxes that have glitter, a bedazzled square peg if you will.

But I don't fit any boxes. I have been wracking my brain on some pitching exercises and I keep hitting  a brick wall.

My CP says maybe its because I wrote the BREAKOUT novel, there is nothing to compare it to. While, I don't believe she is stroking my ego, it's hard to think about your work so egotistically. I mean deep down we all believe our stories are worth telling but BREAKOUT. Doubt it. But I hope...

I hope my query finally gets to where it needs to be. My problem is I have ten versions. 10. Each day I like a different one. This is not easy. Writing my second WIP is easier. And that's hasn't been all roses either.

Maybe we should CRIT queries on Sundays instead of hearing my rants. I mean, I rant on Tuesdays don't forget. You must be getting bored by now.

So, in the meantime, I am off to make my HO the most presentable. I am working to take my query from this:

TO

THIS

THEN MAYBE I WILL GET THIS

Hope your weekend was grand. Until the next time. ~Charli

AGENT INTERRUPTED

Ari is angry tonight. I like an angry Ari. He gets it done. Well, most of the time. Even the best fictional agent has his bad days. Days where the usual approach isn't working. Like making a joke with Mike Tyson about biting someone's ear. The God of all agents couldn't even seal the deal with the Mrs., big balls got blue balls. 

Ouch.

Definitely in a funk. His clients didn't have nice things to say about him, didn't feel connected or appreciated. And he seemed to have a hard time finding his A Game.

So, this all had me thinking. Even agents lose their mojo. They are human after all, aren't they? I mean it's not like they're vampires or anything....Now that would be a great character. A hybrid of Ari Gold and Eric Northman. Hmmmm....now he would be the perfect fictional agent.

Eric friggin Northman.

Deadly, loyal, passionate, funny, and oh so beautiful. If pubs seem all pissy about word count or my title, he could glamour them. If I am having a hard time with my WIP he could, well, help me find my muse. Ha cha cha!

Now, being asleep all day may pose some problems. But I am a night person. Eric flys. We'd save on airfare. I am already daydreaming about him flying me around like Superman did Lois Lane.  I even see myself wear that blue dress.

I am getting off topic here. Losing my concentration. I think this picture of my ficitonal agent is glamouring me. How could it not?

But here is where Ari gets all flustered too. He veered of course. Got so big he lost the personal touch with his clients, what made him great. He lost his voice people.

All this query business has me flustered. Freaked out. Contemplating changes I never thought about before. But it doesn't mean change won't be necessary. Bottom line, my query worked on two agents. Ok, not bad. When I go back and read them, it's missing MY voice. How did I let that happen?

Here's how. I am so hung up on the rules and examples out there I forgot to put ME in it. No wonder agents aren't connecting with it.

So it's back to the drawing board. I have a  lot to figure out. My genre fit, that's first and foremost. Getting the word count down a wee bit. And making the decision where my completed MS fits in the series. It's gonna be a long week, a  lot of digging and searching.

Who knows what I'll find but it sure will be fun. Poor JAWS!

WANTED: ARI GOLD

This one's for Jill...

Fictional Agent Friday came and went. I had no chutzpah to search for my fairytale agent. Why? Real ones aren't exactly banging down my door.

I love this weekly spot, for many reasons. We get to delve into characters, ones we love or love to hate. Characters, we all have them, real, literary, some of us imaginary. Characters are what we live for.

I do want somewhat of a character for an agent. I'm not normal, as you may have guessed by now. The perfect agent for me must have BIG BALLS. Balls to sell my MS and balls to tell me what sucks, what I am doing wrong, and to scream to publishers what, as an author, I have done right.

Am I looking for a BFF? Hells no. Got those. A friend? Nope, got those two. But I don't was some  stiff either, in other words, NO YAWNERS. 

I want a CHEERLEADER.  My own personal cheerleader. Someone clappin', hootin', and hollerin' all the way to the NYT Betsellers list with me.

I want someone who pushes me to be my best, tough, in your face, take NO SHIT, and no prisoners, a deal making genius.

I WANT ARI GOLD.  Or the literary equivalent will suffice.

There, I said it. We all think it and he is a literal FICTIONAL AGENT. He is the best. He is all about the business of making YOU a STAR. But  more so about you doing your best work. He's a friend, a bodyguard, a spokesperson and the best agent gettin' it done in tinsel town.

But like REAL AGENTS, if we were some schleps walking Hollywood and Vine we probably couldn't get a meeting with the guy. I mean, I'm all for kidnapping Lloyd to get his attention. (Mental note, research possible assistants to kidnap.)

So, how about we channel our own personal Ari Golds and figure this whole literary agent thing out. We can chat about what agents have been blogging about, chat about what WE want as writers.

I mean, let's face it. Agents blog all over about what they want, what the business wants, what about what WE want?

Now it's a business and as with any other, there is a whole lot of crap out there. But there are also great books waiting to be published, maybe the authors are just bumbling through the query process. All we hear as writers is, we need agents. Well, they NEED US too.

Here, we can dish it all out. And maybe one of us will get it right.

So, my fellow aspiring kick ass AUTHORS. Find your balls, bring your A game, and channel your own INNER ARI GOLD.

Let's hug it out bitches and get'er done. Let's find us some agents.

SUNDAYS WITH ARI has officially commenced.

Today's topic: What do you see as your biggest

obstacle to getting an agent?

Fictional Agent Friday~TOOTSIE

Here is a gem. Tough, in your face, well spoken in two dialects, a  Suthaner and New Yawker. Where could you go wrong with Dorothy/Michael/Dustin as a literary agent?

Imagine the possibilities, the dual roles trying to cut the deals. Could you not see Dorothy, with her southern charm wooing the big publishing houses? No way she was taking no for an answer.

Not working, well then you send in Michael. Now, Michael was kind of sexy in a tranny short guy way. They way he sweet talks Jessica Lange into giving him another shot. Put that guy in front of an editor, you'd get sold. Even in Tootsie the character Michael's agent is tired of him. So he takes matters into his own hands. Ahh, Hollywood. Only if we could dress in drag and pawn our books off to publishers.

Watch this little clip to remind you of the sheer genius of this story. (It's the best clip I could find, skip to about the 35 second mark.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUPNBJhUZE8

But here is where our funny jesting takes a serious twist. All these quirky things we see in these amazing characters, aren't agents looking for something as equally likable in their clients? Should we be looking for that something that would make us connect to the agents we are querying?

I guess, but how do you do that within a query letter, while selling your MS?How do you pull off sounding amazingly interesting and be professional at the same time? You have to do all this and you don't even know the person you are writing to. You look them up, read the website bios, check out their blog or a blog interview, hoping to get some sense if this person will dig you and you them.

I mean imagine this, you get a partial request. You sing and dance. You send. Weeks later you get a full request. Woot woot, party in my pants. Then, (long pause for dramatic effect, maybe even a drum roll) you get an offer for representation.

How super friggin' awesome is that?

Then you meet or chat and its like dead air. Like a really awkward date with zero chemistry from the door?

Damn. What to do?

It's a business, you suck it up and hope things work out. But with no chemistry, what are the odds? And are they thinking the same things you are? Are they thinking while the writing is great this chick gets on my nerves? Or worse has zero personality?

Can you really work together? Does any of this really matter? I mean look at this picture of Dorothy, I want her as my agent already.

We get form rejections and yes it sucks and sometimes hurts because there is no explanation for it. Of course there is one, we'll just never know it. Maybe we're better off not. I think I'm liking the "It's not you its me" conversation that swirls in me noggin. But, like a girl ditched before the dance, that reasoning super sucks. Cause we all know it takes two to make a connection and two for it not to be there.

So, is querying much like dating? Finding that right fit? I wouldn't know, I married my high school sweetheart. But if this is what dating was like, I am damn glad I skipped that part.

Chicas, chicos, mi writing familia, how does this change your view of querying, agents, etc.?

Who do you want to see as next Friday's Fictional Agent? I have a penchant for 80's movies, but I am showing my age.

Let's get some dialogue going. I'd love to peek inside your heads on this one.

Charli Mac is signing out. See you Tuesday on the ledge. Feel free to send me some ledge stories of your own. Agent or query ones. You never know what I'll post next....muah ha ha ha!

Perfect Agent Found

I need Michael Keaton in my life, and I am not talking about Batman either. I need the guy above, Billy Blazejowski. This had to be one of his best roles to date and it proves my agent/pimp theory. He would be the perfect literary agent. Seriously, think about all the roles this amazing actor played. You know he is the man. I call first dibs. I think I could really get this guy to sign me.

What fictional character do you think would be the perfect agent???

37 queries, 7 rejections, 1 partial, copious amounts of alcohol, and still somehow laughing about it all...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N6rzfoWHzg&feature=related

Charli Mac