The Golden Heart and a Golden Ticket

Remember when Charlie, not me, found that money in the sewer? He went into the candy store and bought one last candy bar. One last attempt at the impossible. The following 'tis truly a writing fairytale.

Last year a critique partner believed so much in her friend's work she convinced her partner to enter the Romance Writers of America's Golden Heart Contest. This author does not craft cookie cutter romance stories. No, her steampunk-paranormal is edgy, seductive, and wrought with characters that stay with you. Thinking the odds stacked against her, she gave in, took a chance, and entered.

G. Jillian Stone finaled.

And won.

Her crit partner, A.C. Mason must be one proud mama.

At the RWA National Convention Jill schmoozed at the bar and landed an Agent. Not just any agent but one of the Big Boys. You know the type. The one's that don't take unsolicited manuscripts. You think this is the HEA of this story? Nope. G. Jillian Stone landed a SIX BOOK DEAL. That's right, six.

This soon to be PUBLISHED author is a member of my critique group. Both AJ and I fell in love with her characters immediately. One of them, Phaeton, is a cross between Johnny Depp's character From Hell and Robert Downey Jr. in Sherlock Holmes. Total drool factor.

Ms. Stone is now knee deep in edits and will probably laugh at this post, trying to remember when this all happened. (Being locked in an edit cage and all.) Now, truth be told, Jill was also a veteran on the contest scene. Entering, getting feedback, and constantly working on her craft. Working to make it the best story possible. So, good luck or damned good writing? I say that latter.

Do you know someone whose MS is ready for the leap to enter the Golden Heart? Are you? Click on this link to read two interviews from GH winners, one G. Jillian Stone herself. Who knows, maybe AJ & Charli will be interviewing you next summer? You never know... The RWA's Golden Heart Contest entry deadline is November 15, 2010. The entry form anyway. The submissions are due December 2, 2010.

This is what happens to kick ass crit partners. There's still time. Now shoo, go, polish that MS until it shines. I know I will ... and AJ better be thinking the same.

THE YARD MAN: An Affaire with Mr. Kennedy, Pocket, March 2012 - THE CARNAL SINS OF RAPHAEL, Pocket, July 2012 - THE SEDUCTION OF PHAETON BLACK, Kensington, September 2012 - A VERY PRIVATE DUEL WITH PHINEAS GUNN, Pocket, November 2012

AEQUITAS II PUNISHMENT, by a.c. Mason, the second book in the AEQUITAS Trilogy, due January, 17th 2011.

Charli & AJ

TALES FROM THE LEDGE~My Contest Results

Okay, it's Tuesday and I thought I would have a really great post today. Well, I know all my posts are awesome. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink. But I thought I'd be posting about how I'm not on a ledge and in a really great place.

Breathe, I'm not jumping ship again. The bitch is back people. And she's friggin' frustrated, to say the least.

I decided to rejoin one of my crit groups today. It's a really active place and I need my writing homies around me. (Yeah, I said homies. Problem with that?)

No sooner do I click to rejoin- excited about getting back in the LOOP-do I see another email waiting for me. *Charli claps* It was from a contest I entered for FEEDBACK alone. I really did not expect to place. I had about two hours before the deadline when I found it so I was sure there were probably mistakes in my submission. I really needed to know about how my story opened, was it the right genre, and things like that.

Well, I open the email and I didn't final. No surprise there. I'm more excited to read the judges comments.

Lovely Judge #177, gave me one of the biggest ego boosts I have ever received as an aspiring writer.

And I quote:

1. What did you especially like/dislike about the characters? Why?

This story is ready to go. I’d buy it in a New York minute. She is very good, very good.

2. What areas do you feel were handled the best? (Tell why if appropriate).
The whole thing

3. What if anything seemed clichéd to you? (plot, characterization, dialogue, etc.)
nothing

4. What areas do you feel need work? (Tell why, offer suggestions)
notes on ms

5. Anything else?
Send it to the publisher.

"Wow," I scream in my head. "You like me, you really like me!"

This judge gave me a 99 out of 100. The lady bathes in AWESOME. Everyday. Lather, rinse, and repeat. Her bio states she is pubbed in fiction, non-fiction, short stories, full length, and a contest finalist. Not too shabby.

As a former teacher, I know that the 99 is a bit much. I already decided to revamp my opening but it was nice to hear she loved the old one. (I get nostalgic for my writing and for about 10 seconds I thought about going back, but I know my MS is stronger now.)

But she connected with my characters, my world. I love that!

I pause before opening the next 2 because this much I already know: the scores must be awful if I didn't place, getting a high 99 already. I take a deep breath and open.

Lovely Judge # 249 gave me a 70. She did not write anything on the form at the end. She is a contest finalist and an unpubbed author.

She found some great typos but mostly commented on my character motivations and sentence structure. She wasn't buying some of the things my hero did, she really didn't like him. 

Some things gave me pause but others I knew why she felt that way. The intro to my story was choppy and threw too much at once in the wrong way. I get that and have since revamped.

There were comments about my use of run-on sentences. This really confused me. "He raised one hand to her face, if his skin met hers all would be lost." She says this is a run on sentence. Ok, it technically is, but I was taught (and maybe taught wrong) that putting them together provides more impact, one extended thought. In my head his hand is up, he know if he touches her he won't be able to leave. One extended thought for a more emotional impact. To me, that's not a run-on sentence in a bad way. She notes more throughout, a lot more. She notes its my style but she finds it "annoying".

I agreed with the opening bit, she made me think about if my character's motivations are clear enough, but the run-on stuff has me confused.

 Lovely Judge # 247. She gave me a whopping 57. She is pubbed in full length and short story.

Comments on mechanics:

The lack of punctuation, the use of run-on sentences, of adjectives where adverbs are called for, missing words and the incorrect use of many words made this manuscript difficult to read. The nucleus of a good story is here, but the pacing is very uneven and the characters too one-dimensional. The author “tells” too much about the characters, rather than showing us who and what they are through their actions, feelings, emotions. (I nearly puked right here. She also noted run-on sentences, telling, GAWD. Some were typos from sending it in under a quick deadline but the rest? I am cringing that I am some literary hack. Hooked on phonics didn't work for me apparently...)

Comments on story:

The opening of this story could be really, really good, but unfortunately the author writes a very uneven prose that makes the reader have to work to plunge into it. The conflict is evident but is not presented strongly enough to reel the reader in. The narration suffers from a lack of emotional impact and the dialogue is stilted. The poor punctuation and use of the English language diminishes even more what could be a really good story. (Totally get the beginning bit, I entered for it to be confirmed it didn't work. But lack of emotional impact, stilted dialogue, at this point how did I even get a 57? Oh, I did the math. The lowest score I could get was a 20. This judge gave me a 2 in most categories, the lowest score possible.)

Comments on characterization:

Despite the poor mechanics I really fell in love with the characters. Their flaws are an integral part of them and make you like them even more. While their actions are realistically motivated their emotions never reach out to the reader. The author needs to invest the characters with actions and habits the indicate their emotions. While the goals are identified and logical, the uneven pacing of the story makes it hard to keep them in focus.

Comments on general:

I really love the basic plot of this story. It has the capacity to reach out and tug the reader’s heartstrings, with all of its angst. The problem is, the reader doesn’t feel it, and that makes me sad. Despite everything I fell in love with Grace and Miguel, so there is definitely the kernel of a good story in there. I hope the author won’t give up on this, but will take advantage of the many online workshops that help us polish our craft, and applies them to this manuscript.

1. What did you especially like/dislike about the characters? Why?

 I loved their vulnerability. That gets me every time.

2. What areas do you feel were handled the best? (Tell why if appropriate).

3. What if anything seemed clichéd to you? (plot, characterization, dialogue, etc.)
I’d say some of the characterizations were a little too clichéd—the Irish brothers, the Main Line family, etc. They are good characters in the story but they need to be more individual, less stereotypical.

4. What areas do you feel need work? (Tell why, offer suggestions)
I really hope the author takes advantage of workshops the deal with the development of characters, pacing, and especially basic English grammar and punctuation. She is so close to having a really good story to present.

5. Anything else?
Please keep at it.

This one absolutely has me on the LEDGE FOR REAL. I was a Lit teacher for Christ sakes. Grammar is not my strong point but damn I thought I had the basics down, LOL. I had a lot of peeps comb through these chaps, one a grammar GURU, and they never said these things.

I need a better grasp of the ENGLISH Language?

Ok, so after this I need to sign up for a grammar refresher, no prob. Every writer should prolly at some point. But am I really this bad?

I know taste is subjective. Not everyone will connect with my voice (Jaws just told me that). Character motivation problems, I get because I know the issues with how my story opened. No problem there, I already changed it. But the run-on sentences, grammar, and the telling bit throw me. I worked really hard on show vs. tell. I thought I had the right balance. Now I am not sure about  the quality of my MS. Do I need to pay an editor? What's next?

What are your thoughts? What are your contest experiences?

A SHORT COMMERCIAL BREAK

While in between regularly scheduled posts I have two announcements.

First. On a writing forum I found quite a funny book cover. I clicked on the link and read an excerpt. The concept had me, I'm a movie buff, a movie junkie. But reading the acknowledgements I felt, well, reaffirmed. One of the authors talked about his ledge. HIS LEDGE. Literary commiseration. I read further and realized, I am in the right place, this writing place.

Two clicks later and Amazon informed me the book will be here in a few days.

FOUR WORD MOVIE REVIEWS. The cover had me in stitches and you know how I love my comedy people. Clever, funny, has you thinking about all kinds of things you should be able to say in 4 words or less. Clever, funny, witty, profound.

An example: The review for TITANIC- "Icy dead people."

Profound, yes, this book, I know, will be profound. I am looking at life in 4 words now. Hubby, sitting next to me dumping out the DVR. He is watching all the Grey's Anatomy I already watched. Sexy surgeons, great soundtracks.

Okay, not as funny or witty but it's making me think of something I heard before. WORD ECONOMY. How we, as writers, chose words, and chose what words NOT to use. Profound. I will be giving a review as soon as I get it. Super excited to read. (4 words).

http://www.amazon.com/Four-Word-Film-Reviews-Clews/dp/1440505659/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265672425&sr=8-1

Second. My buddy is having a writing contest. Now, it's not being judged by the super elite in the industry, no fees to participate, no major plaques if you win. Why enter? Because it will force you to do something you have been thinking about since puberty. Having sex in far out places. Ha cha cha!

You will get a prompt , a scenario and its your job to write a steamy sex scene. Now the challenge for some will be the obvious. Sex scenes in general. But imagine this, write it in a way where the two people don't even touch. Never know each others names, using words not associated with sex, like a PG version you would say around the kids.( Sex in the City, the coloring analogy.)

No matter what your comfort level is, sex is human nature. As writers, find out where and how you can write about it. Some of the most memorable love scenes are the ones where the couple barely even touches.

http://careyabbott1.wordpress.com/2010/07/16/you-did-what-where-contest/

Expand your minds people.


This is the time to get out of your box. Write something different, read something different.

CONTESTS – Are They Your Cup Of Whiskey?

Contest Diva in Training: AJ - Contests I’ve entered: 2. Number I finalled in: 0. No point in telling you about the ones I’ve won.

Golden Heart Finalists, G. Jillian Stone, and Angi Morgan are with us today to demystify contests, or at the very least answer a few questions that have been bouncing about me addled wits. Are they worth the twenty-five dollar entry fee? Or could you get the same type of feedback from your critique partner/group?

Lets face it, taste is subjective, can contests really gauge the salability of your MS, or does finalling have more to do with talent/good story telling? That was a long sentence, eh, take a breath, I like long sentences. Here’s what the finalists had to say:

GJS: First of all, I’d like to thank you, AJ and Charli, for giving me the opportunity to participate in this exploration of (RWA chapter) unpublished writer’s contests. I ventured into this world a little over a year ago, so, I am not the most seasoned contester, but as a quasi-newbie, I have had wonderful beginner’s luck and might have few helpful observations for your readers.
I believe contests do a fairly good job of finding/discovering talent, up to a point. And personal taste is always a factor. There are excellent writers whose style/voice or plot lines put them too far outside of the romance subgenres.

AM: Some yes, some yes, and some yes. I think high scores are always the result of good story-telling. And you must have a talent for telling a story well. Once a reader “falls” into the story and there aren’t blaring mistakes to trip them up, I think that person judging no longer has a reason NOT to give a good score. I do agree that there will always be that one person who just doesn’t connect with the story and no matter how good your writing is, they just won’t like it. But a friend told me long ago that if two out of three readers love your book...you’ll have a best seller.
If you’re looking for example scoring, Angi has graciously posted her contest scores over at the Ruby Slipper Sisterhood.
http://www.rubyslipperedsisterhood.com/rss/index.php/guest-blogger-angi-morgan-should-you-listen-to-contests-part-deux/)

Talent seems to be the shining factor, but what is talent? And who defines it? Does it mean following all the rules? Breaking them, but doing it right, whatever that is? Mmm, I’ll leave that one open for discussion. On to the next question ladies.

The next question has two parts. Bear with me. I’m the boring part of this blog ☺ I’ve no doubt you were in the midst of querying when you entered the GH Contest, had you found any success up to this point, partial, full requests, and, had you queried any of the final judges before the contest?

GJS: THE YARD MAN was requested by several agents before the GH final, but I hadn’t shopped it around much, so when the call came on March 25, I still had plenty of agents to query. Since the GH final I have sent out 32 QLs, had 7 requests for full manuscripts and 9 partial requests. One offer of representation declined/rescinded, but (I am) still waiting to hear from a handful of agents.

AM: Whew—the truth? Yikes. Love on the Run was requested in 2004 by a Harlequin editor. It was rejected seven days before it finaled in the 2004 Golden Heart. I set the book aside for several years, and began entering contests in 2009 seriously trying to catch the attention of an editor and agent. I received THE CALL November 12th and signed the contract on December 2nd. I was floored and totally honored that SJR, now Hill Country Holdup, finaled this year.

What is the one thing you really wanted to say to an agent, editor, publisher, or contest judge but decided not to, for obvious reasons like being courteous, gracious, and humble? (See Charli’s previous post on Agents)

GJS: I have issues mainly with agents who praise the writing and the ms and then pass, saying (in effect) too much trouble to sell. The cross-genre thing gives me heartburn and nightmares.
What I would I like to say to them? I am hoping to run into agents, editors or judges in Orlando who’ve read the contest pages and chat with them about the MS. Find out what was/is in their head.

AM: I always wanted to write back to everyone who rejected me and say the line from Pretty Woman: “You work on commission, right?” she holds up all the shopping bags, “Big mistake. Huge mistake.”

Here’s a theoretical situation: You win the GH, a HUGE publisher wants to write you a big fat cheque, sign you on the spot, BUT - you knew this was coming - the publishing house wants to change your name, they don’t like it, not catchy enough, and alter certain plot points, would you GO ON AND TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN, or would you politely refuse, much to their chagrin? How much does staying true to what you believe in factor into being a writer?

GJS: I recently had informal talks with an interested agent who stated, as a condition of representation, she wanted to change the title of THE YARD MAN. Author name change? Hard to say. I have considered other pen names. As an unpublished author it’s important to stay as open as possible to reasonable requests for revisions/changes.

AM: What’s in a name? LOL I have no problem taking the money, changing plot points, writing a new story, a new name...whatever I have to do. Writing is a business. I ALWAYS write from my heart, ALWAYS write the best story possible, but I’m willing to tell the story that will make it to the printed page. In fact, I changed the villain in .38 Caliber Cover-Up, which changed much of the GMC for the book. But part of the reason I had a quick second sale was my willingness to work with the editor—an editor who knows what their readers like and dislike.

If you had exhausted the contest circuit, agents, and editors, and STILL no one would bite, would you let your MS sit on the shelf and collect dust, and begin working on another project, or choose to self-publish the story YOU believe in?

GJS: First of all, when a writer is in final rewrites, he/she should be doing research, writing blurbs, character profiles, plot work and outlines for the next WIP. So, while you are shopping the completed MS, you are writing your new novel––you’re next, best hope.
Not interested in self-publishing. I would definitely shop the MS to e-publishers before giving up.

AM: Self publishing was not the route I wanted to take. I actually did let Hill Country Holdup “sit under my bed” for several years before I looked at it again. By that time, I’d grown as a writer, learned more of our craft, and with the help of a critique partner I discovered what was wrong with the first version.

Ok, so we know talent is what gets you discovered, though I’m not quite sure such a thing can be pinned down easily. Both Jill and Angi BELIEVE in their work and would consider changes that would help them get it published. Are we any closer to understanding contests? I’ll le you decide.

Jill says the first five pages need to have a GREAT hook, while Angi thinks it’s a good idea to decide WHY you’re entering contests.
Now that I’ve put these fine lassies through their paces, have a laugh and comment away!

If you could be a superhero what would your name and power be?

GJS: WILHEMINA FAIRBEARD. I am a Steampunk super heroine transmogrifier, with an endless repertoire of shape shifting creatures I mutate into.

AM: This is probably the hardest question ever! I’ve never pictured myself as a superhero. I’m more easily pictured as Batman’s Alfred. The woman behind the scenes that makes everything run smooth and has all the answers. My favorite cartoon character is Scooby Doo. Always in the right place against his will, but getting the job done. My ring tone is Scooby’s theme song: Where are you? Which works well with everyone’s favorite question for me: Can you help?

You are a sandwich, describe yourself on a menu.

GJS: Grilled Panini or croque provençal w/tomato/basil/cheese.

AM: Breadless...lean meat, lots of veggies, and low calorie lime vinaigrette.

Going by the traditional formula, what would your porno name be? Use your childhood pet’s name and the street you grew up on. For instance, Charli’s is Betsy Orchard and mine is Ginger King Edward.

GJS: Powder Puff and Raspberry Lane. I’ll let the reader combine them!

AM: Zipper Larry

Here’s my two cents, think of contests as another round of critiques. Except this time, you don’t KNOW the people reading your MS. You email it through cyber space, wait a few weeks, months – a bit longer than your average critique partner’s time – they send it back, and BAM, there are comments and feedback on your story. Is it worth it? Did they tell you anything more than your critique partner(s)? You tell me.
I want to thank Jill and Angi for joining us today, it was great having you both!

G. Jillian Stone – There are fields in time that burn with desire. Meet me there.
Jillian is a 2010 Golden Heart finalist for THE YARD MAN and has just completed a companion novel, THE SEDUCTION OF PHAETON BLACK. Set in late Victorian London, Scotland Yard detectives have never been as wickedly sexy or as brilliantly clever. To read more about her latest work in progress, THE MISS EDUCATION OF DOCTOR EXETER, please drop by her website: www.gjillianstone.com

Angi Morgan is a 2010 Golden Heart finalist for HILL TOP COUNTRY, which will be in stores September 2010. As an 11th generation Texan, Angi utilizes her strong heritage to create passionate characters willing to risk everything. For up-to-date news and information, visit Angi at her web site: www.angimorgan.com or become a Facebook fan: AngiMorgan.

AJ ☺