Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Ledge Tuesday~Crap, Tis Conference Time!

I will not panic. I will not panic. Somebody stop me from repeating that I will not panic!

The New Jersey Romance Writers Conference is three days away. OK, I am freaking out. I am on the ledge and its friggin' raining. Go figure. I have so much to do and I'm here blogging about it.

Oh yeah and the tweener is home with a stomach bug. I hold up a crucifix as I shove a food tray in her door. STAY BACK!

I am an not an evil mother but I have priorities. Before you judge, spare me. She's twelve and can wipe her own ass. She's not some helpless toddler. Didn't you read I fed her. And in case you're wondering it was tea and crackers.

Back to my rant.

I feel like that idiot in the scary movie. The one you yell to, "Yo, biotch. Move. He's gonna kill you! He. Is. Gonna. Kill. You." Splat. I am toast. I am blogging not doing. Frozen like the poor little twit Michael Myers just hacked to bits.

I have to perfect my query and spit shine my first three chaps. The likelihood they will be asked for is small but I was told by an agent to be prepared. Have copies of my query, synopsis, and first couple of chaps ready just in case. I think I'll be getting some folders to put this stuff in. A STAPLES run is needed. That won't be easy. Puking kid, rain, and our second car is a hoopty. Drat.

Then there is the fashion dilemma. A fancy dinner is on Friday night. This chubby clown doesn't do dresses. Hate them unless forced to by friends I want to trip down the aisle. But my evening attire is looking weak. Most of my friends are married. Haven't been to an event in a while. I feel like I am getting ready for the prom. Hate this crap. I won't wear anything that shows off my flabby guns but I don't wanna wear a smock either. AND I have no time for alterations, as if I could just fork over the duckets needed to buy some fancied up satin rag. "Way to go Charli on the Procrastination bit", I say to myself. If I end up wearing an old Moo-Moo dress I will spit. I can't wear a nice suit because I will just look like AJ's date. But that would make for some funny chatter.

Last night I had a dream I couldn't find JAWS at the airport. I think I need to wear the clown nose when I do with a sign that reads, JAWS' RIDE.

So, I  need to get my tookus to Staples and the big girl's lookin' fine store, AKA, Lane Bryant. I have about thirty bucks left on a gift card. I guess that's a start.

Tweener is calling on the intercom. Lovely. Wish me luck.



  2. I'd suggest a glass of wine but you sound like you might just chug the whole bottle.

  3. Oh, Charli, you kill me! Get off that ledge and get to Lane Bryant. I don't know about yours, but ours (in SW MO) had some cute stuff hanging in the window. You'll look awesome.

    I've got a crit partner going this weekend too, I've got my fingers crossed for her and I'll double cross 'em so you get some luck too. Disclaimer: my luck is @#$% so with the rain, y'all might get a flood, the agents won't make it in, and you'll spill something godawful on your outfit. ;)

  4. I'm going to a conference this weekend in South Carolina. My only relief is that my WIP is nowhere near pitchable, so I can concentrate on the learning. And finding a Hardee's or something nearby because I couldn't afford the meal packages. Maybe I'll be able to buy a last minute in to the big dinner. Still, I get so nervous around people I don't know. Last conference, I found myself using air quotes, and I just. don't. know. why. You'll do just fine, it's always hectic trying to get everything ready in time. But I swear, you'll do it!

  5. calmblueocean, calmblueocean, or if this is more fittting: feckity feck feck feck FECK! your choice.
    good luck at the conference:)


  6. LOL!! loved the post. Remember deep breaths....It'll all work out. UR Charli!! THE Charli :) Remember, they are people just like us and their gonna love ya deary.

    Hope you have fun. Please keep us posted.

  7. Thanks everyone. I am feeling better and so is the tweener. Tomorrow, I shop! Woot woot.

  8. Charli, enjoy the conference. They are tons of fun and you will learn a lot whether it is from doing or just people watching. We are all behind you so just take a deep breath and go...

  9. Hi, Charli.
    I'm in exactly the same boat. Supposed to go to the HOD RW conf this weekend. My BFF just canceled. I have nothing to wear, not ready at all.
    But you don't need to print your stuff. Even if the agent reqeusts, and they will, they won't want to see it there. They'll ask you to email it later.
    Wish you luck!
    Wish me luck?

  10. Super good luck vibes goin your way!!! You too JM! Hey, AR, tell your buddy to look for the clown and the shark.

    An agent I exchange emails with said to have a few copies of the query, synop, and first couple of chaps on hand. 3 tops. Tis rare but sometimes you get asked. She said never hurts to be prepped. Odds are I won't need it but I won't shoot myself in the foot not having it.

  11. 'Tis better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it! Go have a hell of a time with JAWS. Once you get there you'll mellow out. It's exciting and tummy tumbling, but antacids do help. LOL! Have fun shopping and buy something that doesn't wrinkle!

  12. Daryl, wine is for the guests. The Southern Comfort is for what else, personal comfort. LOL.

  13. Thanks Sheri. I shall try to be as mellow as possible with JAWS but 'tis unlikely. LOL.

  14. Oh lassies, I am so excited to be going to this conference. We're there to LEARN, Charli. Get off the damn ledge :-) See ye in 24 hours. Have the sign handy!

  15. Good luck!!! (If it's any consolation, I hate wearing dresses too.)